Retro TV TV Guide
Good Luck Chuck
Cursed since childhood, dentist Charlie Kagan (Dane Cook) cannot find the right woman. Even worse, he learns that each of his ex-girlfriends finds true love with the man she meets after her relationship with him ends. Hearing of Charlie's reputation as a good-luck charm, women from all over line up for a quick tryst. But when Charlie meets the woman (Jessica Alba) of his dreams, he must find a way to break the curse or risk losing her to the next man she meets.
1h 59 min 02:07 – 04:06
Employee of the Month
Zack (Dane Cook) and Vince (Dax Shepard) are rival co-workers at Super Club, the country's largest bulk-discount retailer but, while Vince is on the fast-track at Super Club, Zack's laid-back approach to work holds him back. That all changes when a new cashier, named Amy (Jessica Simpson), transfers to their store. Zack is instantly smitten, but Amy prefers Vince. Zack determines that the only way to win her is to win his store's most coveted honor.
2h 23 min 04:06 – 06:29
Meatballs
Tripper (Bill Murray) is the head counselor at a budget summer camp called Camp Northstar. In truth, he's young at heart and only marginally more mature than the campers themselves. Tripper befriends Rudy (Chris Makepeace), a loner camper who has trouble fitting in. As Tripper inspires his young charges to defeat rival Camp Mohawk in the annual Olympiad competition, Rudy plays matchmaker between Tripper and Roxanne (Kate Lynch), a female counselor at Northstar.
2h 5 min 06:29 – 08:34
Employee of the Month
Zack (Dane Cook) and Vince (Dax Shepard) are rival co-workers at Super Club, the country's largest bulk-discount retailer but, while Vince is on the fast-track at Super Club, Zack's laid-back approach to work holds him back. That all changes when a new cashier, named Amy (Jessica Simpson), transfers to their store. Zack is instantly smitten, but Amy prefers Vince. Zack determines that the only way to win her is to win his store's most coveted honor.
2h 26 min 08:34 – 11:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
30 min 11:00 – 11:30
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
30 min 11:30 – 12:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
30 min 12:00 – 12:30
Men's Health - All-Natural Secret for Prostate Health
Prosvent is a doctor formulated blend of rejuvenating herbs and nutrients that help protect overall prostate health.
30 min 12:30 – 13:00
The Three Musketeers
D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) leaves his home in rural France to fulfill his ambition of becoming one of the king's elite guardsmen, the Musketeers. In Paris he meets Athos (Matthew MacFadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans) - three of the king's finest swordsmen, who have been laid low by Milady De Winter's (Milla Jovovich) betrayal. D'Artagnan rallies his new friends to foil Cardinal Richelieu's (Christoph Waltz) plot to overthrow the monarchy and crown himself king of France.
1h 52 min 13:00 – 14:52
Conan the Barbarian
A powerful Cimmerian warrior, Conan (Jason Momoa) carves a bloody path across the land of Hyboria on a personal vendetta. That soon turns into a an epic battle against evil, for Conan's mortal enemy, Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), seeks the legendary Mask of Acheron. The artifact will enable Khalar Zym to raise his wife from the dead and achieve immortality for himself, but it will also unleash a malevolent force upon the land, and only Conan and his companions can stop it.
2h 23 min 14:52 – 17:15
Never Back Down
Jake (Sean Faris) moves to Orlando, Fla., with his mother (Leslie Hope) and brother (Wyatt Smith). He feels like an outsider in his new school and frequently lets his temper flare out of control. But Jake wants to fit in, and he decides to go to a party with his classmate Baja (Amber Heard). There, Jake is pushed into a fight and humiliated. Another classmate (Evan Peters) sees what happened, and encourages Jake to visit martial arts trainer Jean Roqua (Djimon Hounsou).
2h 18 min 17:15 – 19:33
Derailed
Temptation and a difficult home life leave Charles (Clive Owen) open to an affair with Lucinda (Jennifer Aniston), whom he meets during his commute. Both are married with children, and it isn't long before they are together in a sleazy motel. However, a thug named LaRoche (Vincent Cassel) bursts into the room and attacks them, and they can't report it without their families discovering the affair. As if the violation wasn't enough, LaRoche then calls Charles to blackmail him.
1h 46 min 19:33 – 21:19
Moonfall
The world stands on the brink of annihilation when a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. With only weeks before impact, NASA executive Jocinda "Jo" Fowler teams up with a man from her past and a conspiracy theorist for an impossible mission into space to save humanity.
2h 44 min 21:19 – 00:03
Moonfall
The world stands on the brink of annihilation when a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. With only weeks before impact, NASA executive Jocinda "Jo" Fowler teams up with a man from her past and a conspiracy theorist for an impossible mission into space to save humanity.
2h 44 min 21:20 – 00:04
The Mist
After a powerful storm damages their Maine home, David Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his young son head into town to gather food and supplies. Soon afterward, a thick fog rolls in and engulfs the town, trapping the Draytons and others in the grocery store. Terror mounts as deadly creatures reveal themselves outside, but that may be nothing compared to the threat within, where a zealot (Marcia Gay Harden) calls for a sacrifice.
2h 32 min 00:03 – 02:35
The Mist
After a powerful storm damages their Maine home, David Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his young son head into town to gather food and supplies. Soon afterward, a thick fog rolls in and engulfs the town, trapping the Draytons and others in the grocery store. Terror mounts as deadly creatures reveal themselves outside, but that may be nothing compared to the threat within, where a zealot (Marcia Gay Harden) calls for a sacrifice.
2h 31 min 00:04 – 02:35
1408
Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is a successful author who enjoys worldwide acclaim debunking supernatural phenomena - before he checks into the Dolphin Hotel, that is. Ignoring the warnings of the hotel manager (Samuel L. Jackson), he learns the meaning of real terror when he spends the night in a reputedly haunted room.
2h 13 min 02:35 – 04:48
Conan the Barbarian
A powerful Cimmerian warrior, Conan (Jason Momoa) carves a bloody path across the land of Hyboria on a personal vendetta. That soon turns into a an epic battle against evil, for Conan's mortal enemy, Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), seeks the legendary Mask of Acheron. The artifact will enable Khalar Zym to raise his wife from the dead and achieve immortality for himself, but it will also unleash a malevolent force upon the land, and only Conan and his companions can stop it.
2h 20 min 04:48 – 07:08
The Three Musketeers
D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) leaves his home in rural France to fulfill his ambition of becoming one of the king's elite guardsmen, the Musketeers. In Paris he meets Athos (Matthew MacFadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans) - three of the king's finest swordsmen, who have been laid low by Milady De Winter's (Milla Jovovich) betrayal. D'Artagnan rallies his new friends to foil Cardinal Richelieu's (Christoph Waltz) plot to overthrow the monarchy and crown himself king of France.
1h 51 min 07:08 – 08:59
Conan the Barbarian
A powerful Cimmerian warrior, Conan (Jason Momoa) carves a bloody path across the land of Hyboria on a personal vendetta. That soon turns into a an epic battle against evil, for Conan's mortal enemy, Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), seeks the legendary Mask of Acheron. The artifact will enable Khalar Zym to raise his wife from the dead and achieve immortality for himself, but it will also unleash a malevolent force upon the land, and only Conan and his companions can stop it.
2h 1 min 08:59 – 11:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
2h 11:00 – 13:00
Frank and Jesse
A Pinkerton agent pursues the James (Rob Lowe, Bill Paxton) and Younger brothers as they rob banks, stagecoaches and trains.
2h 18 min 13:00 – 15:18
The Kid
In 1879 Rio and his teenage sister go on the run across the American Southwest to escape from their violent uncle. Along the way, Rio encounters the infamous outlaw Billy the Kid and the legendary lawman Pat Garrett. He soon finds himself caught in the crossfire as Billy and Garrett find themselves playing a deadly game of cat and mouse.
2h 3 min 15:18 – 17:21
The Hurt Locker
Staff Sgt. William James (Jeremy Renner), Sgt. J.T. Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) are members of a bomb-disposal unit in Baghdad. As their tour of duty enters its final weeks, the men face a set of increasingly hazardous situations, any of which could end their lives in an explosive instant.
2h 43 min 17:21 – 20:04
Forsaken
In 1872 Wyoming, a former gunslinger (Kiefer Sutherland) and his estranged father (Donald Sutherland) encounter a ruthless businessman (Brian Cox) and his gang of thugs.
1h 52 min 20:04 – 21:56
The Duel
A Texas Ranger (Liam Hemsworth) investigates a series of murders in an Old West town that's run by a former Confederate officer (Woody Harrelson).
2h 21 min 21:56 – 00:17
Hacksaw Ridge
The true story of Pfc. Desmond T. Doss (Andrew Garfield), who won the Congressional Medal of Honor despite refusing to bear arms during WWII on religious grounds. Doss was drafted and ostracized by fellow soldiers for his pacifist stance but went on to earn respect and adoration for his bravery, selflessness and compassion after he risked his life - without firing a shot - to save 75 men in the Battle of Okinawa.
2h 57 min 00:17 – 03:14
Forsaken
In 1872 Wyoming, a former gunslinger (Kiefer Sutherland) and his estranged father (Donald Sutherland) encounter a ruthless businessman (Brian Cox) and his gang of thugs.
1h 51 min 03:14 – 05:05
The Hurt Locker
Staff Sgt. William James (Jeremy Renner), Sgt. J.T. Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) are members of a bomb-disposal unit in Baghdad. As their tour of duty enters its final weeks, the men face a set of increasingly hazardous situations, any of which could end their lives in an explosive instant.
2h 43 min 05:05 – 07:48
The Kid
In 1879 Rio and his teenage sister go on the run across the American Southwest to escape from their violent uncle. Along the way, Rio encounters the infamous outlaw Billy the Kid and the legendary lawman Pat Garrett. He soon finds himself caught in the crossfire as Billy and Garrett find themselves playing a deadly game of cat and mouse.
2h 3 min 07:48 – 09:51
Eerie, Indiana
Marshall and his friend both fall for the new girl at school.
34 min 09:51 – 10:25
Eerie, Indiana
An abusive father claims heavy-metal messages are ruining his son.
35 min 10:25 – 11:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
2h 11:00 – 13:00
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
Madea catches teenage Jennifer and her two younger brothers looting her home. She decides to take matters into her own hands and delivers the young delinquents to the only relative they have, their aunt April, who wants nothing to do with the kids.
2h 19 min 13:00 – 15:19
The Single Moms Club
When their children face expulsion because of rule infractions, five single mothers must agree to organize the school's upcoming dance and fundraiser. Although they range from alpha professional to fast-food worker, the women find they have one thing in common: a need for support and an understanding ear. They form the Single Moms Club to help ease one another's burdens and reclaim their freedom. As their stress begins to lessen, the women find that finding love may be possible again.
2h 26 min 15:19 – 17:45
Next Day Air
Delivery man Leo Jackson (Donald Faison) is definitely on the wrong road to success. He still lives at home, he and his girlfriend just broke up, and he has multiple complaints stacked against him at work. Fortunately, Leo has plenty of marijuana to keep his mind off his troubles. But when he accidentally delivers a box of cocaine to the wrong address, Leo finds himself in the middle of a bad deal that may just cost him his life.
1h 39 min 17:45 – 19:24
The Wash
The Wash is an action-comedy starring Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre. As mismatched roommates working at a car wash, they come together to rescue their boss (George Wallace) from a couple of first-time kidnappers. If they don't settle their differences and get Mr. Washington back, the good times at The Wash will soon come to an end.
1h 34 min 19:24 – 20:58
Detroit
In the summer of 1967, rioting and civil unrest starts to tear apart the city of Detroit. Two days later, a report of gunshots prompts the Detroit Police Department, the Michigan State Police and the Michigan Army National Guard to search and seize an annex of the nearby Algiers Motel. Several policemen start to flout procedure by forcefully and viciously interrogating guests to get a confession. By the end of the night, three unarmed men are gunned down while several others are brutally beaten.
2h 56 min 20:58 – 23:54
The Expendables
Mercenary leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his loyal men take on what they think is a routine assignment: a covert operation to invade the South American country of Vilena and overthrow its dictator. But, when they learn that the job will be a suicide mission, they must choose redemption or the destruction of their brotherhood.
2h 3 min 23:54 – 01:57
The Expendables 2
Mercenary leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) and the rest of the Expendables team reunite when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) hires them for a seemingly easy job. But things go terribly wrong, compelling the mercenaries to seek revenge for a comrade's murder. With the odds against them, Barney and his team are hell-bent on payback and cut a path of destruction through opposing forces, only to encounter an unexpected threat: six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium.
1h 58 min 01:57 – 03:55
Fatale
After a wild one-night stand, a successful sports agent watches his perfect life slowly disappear when he discovers the sexy and mysterious woman he risked everything for is a determined police detective who entangles him in her latest investigation. As he tries desperately to put the pieces together, he falls deeper into her trap, risking his family, his career, and even his life.
2h 4 min 03:55 – 05:59
Detroit
In the summer of 1967, rioting and civil unrest starts to tear apart the city of Detroit. Two days later, a report of gunshots prompts the Detroit Police Department, the Michigan State Police and the Michigan Army National Guard to search and seize an annex of the nearby Algiers Motel. Several policemen start to flout procedure by forcefully and viciously interrogating guests to get a confession. By the end of the night, three unarmed men are gunned down while several others are brutally beaten.
2h 56 min 05:59 – 08:55
Fatale
After a wild one-night stand, a successful sports agent watches his perfect life slowly disappear when he discovers the sexy and mysterious woman he risked everything for is a determined police detective who entangles him in her latest investigation. As he tries desperately to put the pieces together, he falls deeper into her trap, risking his family, his career, and even his life.
2h 5 min 08:55 – 11:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
2h 11:00 – 13:00
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Larry, an uncouth health inspector (Larry the Cable Guy), teams up with a straight-laced rookie partner (Iris Bahr) to investigate an outbreak of food poisoning at the city's swankiest eateries, but when his unorthodox methods cost him his job, he must go under cover to make dining out safe again.
1h 48 min 13:00 – 14:48
Witless Protection
During a routine patrol in his small town, Deputy Larry Stalder (Larry the Cable Guy) intervenes when he sees a woman (Ivana Milicevic) held against her will by four men in black. The woman, Madeleine, is the key witness in a high-profile FBI case and her supposed captors are the agents assigned to guard her. Larry suspects the agents are crooked, however, and takes Madeleine to Chicago, where he hopes to solve the case himself.
1h 59 min 14:48 – 16:47
Delta Farce
Three buddies (Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, D.J. Qualls) set out on a relaxing weekend of drinking and target practice, when a sergeant (Keith David) mistakes them for Army Reservists. The three men are deployed to Iraq, but a premature ejection lands them in Mexico. Believing they are in the Middle East, the bogus soldiers save a village and become local heroes, until a karaoke-loving warlord decides to strike back.
1h 51 min 16:47 – 18:38
Meatballs
Tripper (Bill Murray) is the head counselor at a budget summer camp called Camp Northstar. In truth, he's young at heart and only marginally more mature than the campers themselves. Tripper befriends Rudy (Chris Makepeace), a loner camper who has trouble fitting in. As Tripper inspires his young charges to defeat rival Camp Mohawk in the annual Olympiad competition, Rudy plays matchmaker between Tripper and Roxanne (Kate Lynch), a female counselor at Northstar.
2h 4 min 18:38 – 20:42
Employee of the Month
Zack (Dane Cook) and Vince (Dax Shepard) are rival co-workers at Super Club, the country's largest bulk-discount retailer but, while Vince is on the fast-track at Super Club, Zack's laid-back approach to work holds him back. That all changes when a new cashier, named Amy (Jessica Simpson), transfers to their store. Zack is instantly smitten, but Amy prefers Vince. Zack determines that the only way to win her is to win his store's most coveted honor.
2h 23 min 20:42 – 23:05
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th
In this horror parody, a masked serial killer menaces the town of Bulimia Falls with various sharp objects. Attention-seeking television personality Hagitha Utslay (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) is soon on the scene, reporting on the ever-growing body count. Former mall security guard Doughy (Tom Arnold) shows up to protect the teenage population, but he's clearly not much help, allowing the murderer to pick off even more hapless kids as numerous scary movies are referenced.
1h 53 min 23:05 – 00:58
Scary Movie 4
Dim-witted Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) and her sex-crazed friend, Brenda (Regina Hall), team up with cute-but-clueless Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko) to save the world from a hostile alien invasion, with hints of War of the Worlds, Saw II, Million Dollar Baby and The Village. Celebrity cameos include Carmen Electra, Shaquille O'Neal, Dr. Phil McGraw, Bill Pullman, Molly Shannon and Michael Madsen.
1h 40 min 00:58 – 02:38
Scary Movie V
Much bizarre activity follows after a husband and wife bring their newborn infant home from the hospital. When they realize that a demon is stalking their family, they consult paranormal specialists and install numerous cameras to drive out the pesky spirit. Movies that are spoofed in the familiar format include the "Paranormal Activity" franchise, "Mama," "Sinister," "Evil Dead," "Inception," "Black Swan" and "Rise of the Planet of the Apes.".
1h 36 min 02:38 – 04:14
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Larry, an uncouth health inspector (Larry the Cable Guy), teams up with a straight-laced rookie partner (Iris Bahr) to investigate an outbreak of food poisoning at the city's swankiest eateries, but when his unorthodox methods cost him his job, he must go under cover to make dining out safe again.
1h 48 min 04:14 – 06:02
Witless Protection
During a routine patrol in his small town, Deputy Larry Stalder (Larry the Cable Guy) intervenes when he sees a woman (Ivana Milicevic) held against her will by four men in black. The woman, Madeleine, is the key witness in a high-profile FBI case and her supposed captors are the agents assigned to guard her. Larry suspects the agents are crooked, however, and takes Madeleine to Chicago, where he hopes to solve the case himself.
1h 59 min 06:02 – 08:01
Delta Farce
Three buddies (Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, D.J. Qualls) set out on a relaxing weekend of drinking and target practice, when a sergeant (Keith David) mistakes them for Army Reservists. The three men are deployed to Iraq, but a premature ejection lands them in Mexico. Believing they are in the Middle East, the bogus soldiers save a village and become local heroes, until a karaoke-loving warlord decides to strike back.
1h 51 min 08:01 – 09:52
Eerie, Indiana
Marshall goes on daylight-saving time, but everyone else doesn't.
31 min 09:52 – 10:23
Eerie, Indiana
A "faked" extraterrestrial landing produces genuine alien debris.
37 min 10:23 – 11:00
Paid Programming
Paid programming.
2h 11:00 – 13:00
No programs available for this day.
No programs available for this day.